LIFE ---- as we kno it

I hav heard more than once ....LIFE as we kno it ,is unfair.....
or more aptly put in d words of CHETAN BHAGAT of the 5 POINT SOMONE fame....
"it screws u just whn u think u hav figured it all out"
true??? untrue???
im yet 2 find out.....
if som1 asks me .... wht sets me apart from d rest n supposedly the BEST [read IITians and IIM grads]????

b4 blinkin once i wud answer "MY PAIN"
sounds like a century old cliche.....im aware....

death ,they say ,makes u value life......its apparently tht damn scary...
if not scary.....its definately sad....

if i cud , i wud hav liked 2 ask it 2 tht senior of mine who got crushed under d bus n reached his destination few decades in advance.....
if i cud,i wud hav liked 2 ask it 2 d father who helped his only autopsied ,cold,carelessly stitched and dead son in 2 d all engulfing fire of the electric pyre.....
did he see death ..... thru d eyes of d dead....the eyes which were but an extension of his own being....
ws he scared.....
ws he lonely????

I DNT KNO....

just like i dnt kno .....wht ws it tht my dying unmarried aunt wit an overgrown tumour in her brain ws tryin 2 tell me whn i ws leavin d city....
d doctors claimed loss of speech ws d last symptom....n they were right.....they were DOCTORS...
did she already kno tht it ws d last time we r gonna see each othr....ws she tryin 2 gimme her last words of advice??
her farewell??
ws she cryin out for help 2 d person who loved lyin beside her and listenin 2 storys which never had an end.....whn he ws YOUNG.....yes i GREW up....n i HATE myslf for tht

just like i hate myslf for all d times i screamed at my mom ,who has 2 inject herself wit synthetic hormones twice daily so tht her blood dosnt turn too sweet.....yes she sez her prayers n believes in HIM....n ME....
I hate HIM n i hate ME....

JUST like i hate being indifferent n apparently rude 2 ma dad.....who invested d last ounce of his blood n sweat ,so tht his only son cud do wht he cudnt.....yes he did lose his touch on d SHOW-ME-UR-LOVE-BY-GIVIN-ME-A-HUG factor.....n i hate him for tht.....
n love him for evrything else.....
and i hate myslf coz i kno tht d words above will b restricted 2 printed ,colourful alphabets on a useless blog......

just like i hate tht paedophilic sick bastard for bein the paedophilic sick bastard tht he is....
just like i hate those voyeuristic looks of deception
just like i hate those lies and promises n the wait n tears tht followed....
oh...how i hate YOU......